It’s not possible for you to cause your loved one’s addiction – but you may be enabling his or her behavior and thereby delaying treatment.
Here are some red flags to watch for:
- Do you make excuses for bad behavior?
“His job has made him very stressed lately” or “Sorry we had to leave early, but he hasn’t been feeling well all week.” Sound familiar? Making excuses prevents your loved one from owning up to his or her misguided actions.
- Are you afraid of conflict?
In other words, do you avoid bringing up your spouse’s prescription pill abuse or heavy drinking for fear of an argument? Not talking about it won’t help you or your loved one.
- Have you taken over his chores and obligations?
Whether it’s cooking, carpooling, or completing a work assignment, fulfilling his obligations is enabling your loved one to shirk responsibilities and continue using.
- Do you use or drink with your spouse?
This will send the message that his substance abuse is acceptable (and even encouraged) by you.
- Are you always cleaning up your spouse’s messes?
Whether you’ve bailed him out after a DWI or lied to his boss about missed work, cleaning up after your addicted loved one prevents him or her from taking responsibility for bad choices and behaviors.
- Do you lend him money?
Providing financial help – whether by paying off a gambling debt or lending him money for gas – is another way to support his addiction.
You Need Help, Too
Loving an addict is devastating. Addiction support groups, trusted family members, and regular therapy sessions can play a role in your healing process. Coast to Coast specializes in family therapy and recovery options for spouses, relatives, and loved ones influenced by the trauma of addiction. To learn more, call today: 800-210-8229.